A little about me tonight

I apologize beforehand, this is going to be disjointed, and a little incoherent at times.  I'm going to recount some items about my life, so that you might know a little about me.

I was married in 2002, divorced in 2004.  I had smoked tobacco from about 16 to 31 years old.  I have suffered abuse through out my life. I also conquered that abuse.  I am a survivor, not a victim.  I grew up with alot of rage.  My brothers and I would literally beat each other until the neighbor's came over.  I won't make excuses, I had a problem.

I stopped smoking for a brief period, when I wanted to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I was called to the Hartford, CT Mission.  I didn't make it out of the MTC.  I was having a difficult time because I went when I was 24, and I wasn't coping well at all.  My companion, for one reason or another, pushed my buttons, and I shoved his head through a wall.  Not against the wall, through it.

I immediately walked to the mission president, and asked to be released from my mission for medical reasons so that I could go get the help I so desperately needed.  I went to see a therapist that taught me that I could walk away from people making me angry, that I didn't have to sit there and take the abuse until I'd pop.  It literally changed my life.  I no longer get angry, I can simply walk away.

Skip around some more here. I was feeling prompted, so I looked thru Myspace, I saw a cute girl, so I messaged her and told her that she was cute.  She ignored me.  A couple of weeks later, I sent her another message, hey, in case you were wondering, I was flirting with you.  One thing lead to another, and we've been married happily 4 years.

We were married in the St. George Temple, on April 19, 2008.  It was a great day.  The spirit was really strong with us that day.  It will forever be my happiest memory.

Things have not always been easy, and we continue to struggle.  I hurt my back shortly after we were married, and I have essentially been unemployed for 2 years now.  I really began to get into politics when I lost my job.  I wanted to have leaders that would promote business growth, so job losses wouldn't happen as often.  I need leaders that better represent our founding father's ideals, and ideology on free markets.

I have lost 85 pounds in the last year or so, and my back continues to heal.  I am still sore often, and I have pain, but I am learning to cope, and move beyond the pain so that I can do what is necessary to provide for my family.  I do not take any government handouts, even though we qualify, we have managed to find a way to pay our bills, and keep a roof over our head.

I am an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I hold a calling within my ward.  I know that Thomas S Monson is a Prophet of God.  I also know that Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God.  I know that I am a member of the True Church.  I know that Jesus loves me and that he died for my sins.  I know that through the atonement, I can again be with my Father in Heaven.  I believe in Eternal Families, and I believe that we should protect those families.  I believe that we are not only Children of God, but also His soldiers.  That we must do as he has commanded, and what he has asked of us.  I believe that our nation was founded on Divine principles.  I know that my Heavenly Father knows me personally, and that He wants each and every one of us to return home to him.  I believe in the Bible to be the word of God, and I believe the Book of Mormon to be another Testament of Jesus Christ.  I know my family loves me, and I love them without hesitation, and would protect them at the cost of my own life.  I love my wife, and all that she does for our family, and I know that she loves me, without hesitation, and without regret.

This is probably the most I've spoken about my Testimony in my whole life.

I have social anxiety disorder, and have a difficult time with large groups of people, or even changing my routine.  It causes havoc emotionally to me.  I am also completely deaf in my left ear, and must read lips.  In large crowds, it becomes difficult to hear sometimes, and causes a panic attack.

I'm 37 years old, I haven't had a cigarette in over 6 years now.  I still crave them daily, but I'm good, and have learned to deal with my addiction.

That's about all I'm going to write, right now.  I'm going to bed.  I will be back on target tomorrow with more riveting political material.